Discover more from Deep Fix
Meet the Sons of Now
Addressing the crisis in masculinity
Though it may seem like this week’s newsletter only pertains to men, I believe it’s profoundly relevant to everyone. And, I hope, potentially beneficial to each and all. I write today to announce the formation of Sons of Now. Included below are a few sections I pulled from the group’s description, along with some of my current opinions on masculinity. I’m excited to hear yours, and hopefully, my pitch is worth your time in its own right.
Sons of Now (SON) is a men’s group, and with your help, it’ll be just the sort the world needs right now. There is an unquestionable, and dire, crisis in masculinity. Anger, confusion, shame—the emotional state of the modern man deserves and requires discussion and care.
Amidst this unique cultural precipice, it can be hard to even know who a man is supposed to be today … Ought we become “alphas” intent on reclaiming power? Hyper-sensitive men eager to apologize for our very existence? Men who performatively adopt indigenous rituals—all sage, whispery voices, and sleek personas? How about men who, in response to these existential questions, pursue a never-ending cul-de-sac of personal development workshops and retreats? Or men who continue, unthinkingly laser-focused on building our businesses, deaf to the political and environmental noise?
SON was created to answer these questions—to help define modern masculinity within a community of men who want to be as well as they can be in this wild world.
Because the “crisis in masculinity” is simply not the full story.
Today there are also emergent and unquestionable possibilities for men. This group was formed for those who wish to step forward with intention and vitality to be part of the solution, for themselves as much as for others. It is for those who wish to prioritize the mission of their hearts over sole material gain. It is for those who wish to break through constricting narratives around masculinity and leadership.
In doing so, we will cultivate healthy, high-integrity, emotionally adept, and socially impactful stewards for our modern world.
I have been through the gauntlet of men’s work offerings, both as leader and participant, and in both cases, I have gained tremendous value. It is far from hyperbole to say that some of these groups radically changed my life for the better.
And yet, on the journey, I often found myself wishing there was an even more expansive vision of masculinity. I’m not looking to funnel you into any prescriptive version of what it means to be a man here. I want us to discover something novel and unique. I’m curious—what might your version of masculinity look like? What might emerge from your dedicated inquiry to explore this? Better yet, what does our version look like? And how much better can we be, together?
Join us and find out. Consider SON your personal Board of Directors, sound us out, get our counsel, and please, give some too. Because there is no better way to invigorate your daily state of being, and to hone your whole purpose, than by keeping council with a group of men deeply committed to your evolution.
The core component of the group is a weekly meeting where we meet to dialogue, frankly and truly. There we support, challenge, and celebrate each other. We work towards helping each one of us to realize our personal visions and dreams. We help each other embody healthy, mature masculinity. And jokes will be abundant.
Why “Sons of Now”?
The name alludes to several aspects all men share in common. The first is our contextual location in space-time: this group is designed for modern men. Yet the “Now” also nods to the timelessness of the present moment, the Eternal Now, the truth of our spiritual nature beyond the confines of space-time and identity. And finally, while we may not all be literal brothers with siblings, we are all sons—sons of our parents, ancestors, the Earth, the cosmos, our culture. “Son” reminds us of a hierarchy present in the natural world, that we are servants—not masters—of Life.
What is your understanding of masculinity?
It is unfixed and evolving. Men are dynamic adaptive creatures living in a dynamic adaptive system. I have never met a man who, beneath the surface, fits neatly into an easy-to-pin-down label such as “stoic” or “sensitive.”
The modern man benefits from being a practicing integralist, meaning that we include what is good and beautiful from multiple modalities and perspectives and then transcend them all to create something bigger and better. This means we must not simply discard the best traditionalism has to offer, given that the majority of men still encounter what could be described as ageless challenges. Namely, concerns of living in “right relationship” with women and finding greater purpose in their work and lives.
In general, men benefit from reclaiming the Father archetype, which is grounded, trustworthy, benevolent, and loving. This includes understanding and not detaching from our emotions, providing a safe space for women and those with lesser means, and being able to prioritize other relational elements of life including a conscious relationship with nature.
Depth psychology, classic men’s work exercises, and archetypical study can be quite helpful here. I see tremendous value in the works of Carl Jung, Robert Bly, David Deida, and some of the other foundational mythopoetic texts that comprise the men’s work movement. I am steeped in these books, and we will absolutely be drawing upon them in our sessions. And yet, I’ve also seen some of these texts that form the grammar of modern masculinity be misinterpreted and used as a rationalization for spiritual bypassing and narcissistic behavior, which is something I am committed to avoiding to the best of my ability. I take a critical lens to extract the wisdom these ideas offer.
Today, there’s a temptation—and even reward—for men to be artificially sensitive. On the other end of the spectrum, men get triggered into states of insecurity, fear, and aggression by the evolving culture, especially when that culture is largely defined by algorithms and limbic hijacking. We avoid these traps by understanding what we uniquely stand for and living from that expansive and courageous place.
We exist in interesting times, where some of the more traditional masculine archetypes are proving outdated and even self-defeating. Evolution always goes beyond what went before, struggling to establish new limits, and then breaking past those limits (Wilber 1996). Thus, I am committed to understanding the emergent expressions of modern masculinity. The truth is that gender has never been a binary, and today there is growing awareness—and much confusion—around this fact. There have always been near-infinite possibilities for whom a man could be.
Fundamentally, I believe that when men cultivate a sense of expansive consciousness, they provide great power, bravery, safety, vitality, love, and leadership. We build families, businesses, policies, and communities that make the world a better place. In poetic terms, we become stewards of the spirit of evolution. This is a power and responsibility that we, as men, should honor and enjoy.
If you want to read more about this group—what it includes, costs, the lineages I am drawing upon, and FAQs, please visit this link below. Also, I’d guess that more than half of my readers are women—if there’s a man in your life who might benefit from this, please share it with them: