“One could argue that addiction is a fundamental confusion of reward and consequence. In the pursuit of reward—and in the relief of pain, unresolved emotional experiences, and, trauma—the elements of nature, nurture, and choice become tragically misaligned.”
This is spot on. I’ve often struggled to define addiction, not that I can't think of the words but that I can think of too many ways to describe the madness.
I really like how you’ve distilled this. I was about to add something like Vincent Felitti’s "it's hard to get enough of something that almost works" but “continued use despite adverse consequences” is enough. That it “almost works” is useful if we want to inquire into the mechanism, but I think I’ve done enough of that. Now I just need a laser-like practice to identify every lingering addiction, and your simplified definition works. And yes, then mindfulness begins the process of dissolving. Lasers are just for ID, not for recovery, which requires more love. It’s all a lot more tricky with continued use of certain thought patterns, stories, productivity practices etc. Alcohol and other substances are more black and white - easier to identify, feasible to abstain. Process addictions are more slippery so it’s especially useful to simplify the definition. Thanks!
This: lasers are just for ID, nor for recovery, which requires more love. Yes, yes. And I love lasers. So true on process addictions being slippery, all the more reason I prefer this simple definition for them, as it allows us to really get to the heart of the matter.
Thanks for sharing this Alex. I saw an interesting example of how this reward consequence cycle can form.
I share this with zero judgement or the wider context on these people's lives — simply an interesting observation about how this attunement and reward cycle scenario can play out in real time.
I was in a waiting room yesterday and what seemed to be a mother and child sat down near me. The mother placed the child on her lap, which was clearly not where the child wanted to be, as they immediately squirmed, moaned and tried to climb off. All the while, the mum was trying to do something on her phone and throughout all the squirming and crying, held the toddler's arm in a tight grip with her free hand. The child then finally made it to the floor at which point the mum abruptly picked it up, firmly placed it on her lap and proceeded to feed it a packet of crisps. The child was momentarily soothed.
It made me think about how the energy rising up in that moment was 'rewarded' with food, and how, if this same dynamic is repeated, the child could develop a reward cycle of: I feel these feelings > I need to do something with this energy > I eat now.
I later watched this same child joyously following their curiosities around the waiting room as the mum followed along behind her. Afterwards the child sat quietly and peacefully on her mum's lap. This felt like a nice example of how attunement can play out positively, and also a reminder that we can't place judgement on small interactions we witness as we just don't have the wider context.
Love this, Ocean, you really had me there with you for this witnessing. At that age the attunement cycle is so important. Also, now I want a packet of crisps. Thank you for sharing this!
“One could argue that addiction is a fundamental confusion of reward and consequence. In the pursuit of reward—and in the relief of pain, unresolved emotional experiences, and, trauma—the elements of nature, nurture, and choice become tragically misaligned.”
This is spot on. I’ve often struggled to define addiction, not that I can't think of the words but that I can think of too many ways to describe the madness.
And there's so much in that madness. Thank you, Corey, for this
“So, I really hope you don’t interpret this as moral pedantry, but rather, as one misbegotten soul sharing the meager yet meaty bits he’s learned.”
I get it. Thanks Alex.
Thanks Dee
I really like how you’ve distilled this. I was about to add something like Vincent Felitti’s "it's hard to get enough of something that almost works" but “continued use despite adverse consequences” is enough. That it “almost works” is useful if we want to inquire into the mechanism, but I think I’ve done enough of that. Now I just need a laser-like practice to identify every lingering addiction, and your simplified definition works. And yes, then mindfulness begins the process of dissolving. Lasers are just for ID, not for recovery, which requires more love. It’s all a lot more tricky with continued use of certain thought patterns, stories, productivity practices etc. Alcohol and other substances are more black and white - easier to identify, feasible to abstain. Process addictions are more slippery so it’s especially useful to simplify the definition. Thanks!
This: lasers are just for ID, nor for recovery, which requires more love. Yes, yes. And I love lasers. So true on process addictions being slippery, all the more reason I prefer this simple definition for them, as it allows us to really get to the heart of the matter.
"I write about addiction again and again, because addiction is again and again." G o o o o o d. S t u ff.
Thank YOU Melissa
Thanks for sharing this Alex. I saw an interesting example of how this reward consequence cycle can form.
I share this with zero judgement or the wider context on these people's lives — simply an interesting observation about how this attunement and reward cycle scenario can play out in real time.
I was in a waiting room yesterday and what seemed to be a mother and child sat down near me. The mother placed the child on her lap, which was clearly not where the child wanted to be, as they immediately squirmed, moaned and tried to climb off. All the while, the mum was trying to do something on her phone and throughout all the squirming and crying, held the toddler's arm in a tight grip with her free hand. The child then finally made it to the floor at which point the mum abruptly picked it up, firmly placed it on her lap and proceeded to feed it a packet of crisps. The child was momentarily soothed.
It made me think about how the energy rising up in that moment was 'rewarded' with food, and how, if this same dynamic is repeated, the child could develop a reward cycle of: I feel these feelings > I need to do something with this energy > I eat now.
I later watched this same child joyously following their curiosities around the waiting room as the mum followed along behind her. Afterwards the child sat quietly and peacefully on her mum's lap. This felt like a nice example of how attunement can play out positively, and also a reminder that we can't place judgement on small interactions we witness as we just don't have the wider context.
Love this, Ocean, you really had me there with you for this witnessing. At that age the attunement cycle is so important. Also, now I want a packet of crisps. Thank you for sharing this!