I can't even pretend to fully understand what you've been through, Al. But I'm glad you survived the path you were on and can so eloquently share the wisdom you've uncovered as you've ventured to the virtuous path you're on now.
A very timely post. I woke up today with the unquenchable desire to escape - maybe I should just go get a bottle of wine, maybe today is a good day for an edible - I’m in pain, I’m menstruating, I deserve it, etc. But I am 39 days free of alcohol and cannabis, and ultimately I will stay with the trouble for at least one more day after reading this. Maybe more. Thank you.
Alex, this was an absolutely beautiful piece. I read it twice and had a nice cathartic cry. Thank you for sharing your story and insights. I'm in awe of your journey.
Congrats on 7!!! Incredible. I totally relate to your mixed emotions here. I get it. When ‘normies’ say it there’s always that slight lingering left in the back of your head--are they being condescending? I think usually no. Doesn’t really matter in the end. We’re sober!! I too quit the bottle in my late twenties. Yay us!
Totally. It's not that they are condescending at all, it's that the wounded parts of my psyche projects it as such. At least, most of the time. Thanks so much, Michael, and cheers to your recovery
I feel most people are condescending in general (to me). Still, when referring to sobriety, for the unaddicted, I often get the pseudo-congrats. It’s supposed to sound empathetic and delightful but comes off as a confused sympathetic phrase with a chunk of doubt. Often the person doesn't even stop the task at hand to look at you when speaking. My mother won't even bring it up. She knows better. I don't like talking to ‘normies’ about sobriety. I'm sure you can relate.
Yeah, I get that too, Corey. I'll never forget how revealing it was when I first "came out of the closet" to some of my closest friends about no longer drinking/partying - their reactions often said a lot about them, and helped clarify who my real read-or-die friends were
Congrats, Alex. I just hit five years back in November. Our paths differ slightly, but our stories are the same. Thanks to sobriety, I have an incredible relationship with my ten-year-old daughter, who, at one point, I didn't see for a year, which only spun me deeper into the abyss, zipping around infinity’s loop with a broken flashlight and a pocketful of justifications.
What would you say has helped you the most, other than support?
That's a great question. If I had to pick one just one thing, I'd say physical movement paired with psycho-spiritual practice. I have a lotta energy that needs to flow somewhere, so exercise paired with yoga/meditation help me enormously. Congrats on your recovery man, really heartwarming to hear. It's wild how much better relationships can be
Just reached 18 months in early February. Thank you for writing this. I relate to so much and it’s always good to feel solidarity instead of isolation.
I’m an artist (dance teacher) and I make an effort to shout out my sobriety during classes where it’s relevant. It’s astonishing to me how many people will come up to me afterwards and thank me for making them feel less alone, especially people in early recovery.
Congrats on 18 months, that's a huge milestone, so incredibly stoked for you. And that you are sharing your dance medicine... ecstatic dance was a big part of my recovery, that community and expression
Your recovery is remarkable. I applaud your strength and determination and all you are doing to help others. Never forget how incredible your journey has been. I am so proud of you!
Thank you for sharing the depth of your journey. I am a normie but I still appreciate learning. I have dealt with chronic illness for 14 years and it's perhaps like recovery. Nobody wants to hear about how hard things are for me. There hasn't been recovery thus far. I think we often benefit when we hang out with other people that have a sense of our pain. I hope you have a recovery community that is supportive and people that celebrate your huge wins. And again, I celebrate this writing as it helps me understand suffering beyond my own.
Karyn, holding this note close. It's for this reason that I don't personally think there's such a thing as a 'normie' - it sounds like you've had to traverse immense pain, a pain that's welcome here. Chronic illness is another test in itself, perhaps the biggest of them all. Thank you so much for this note, celebrating you as well.
I can't even pretend to fully understand what you've been through, Al. But I'm glad you survived the path you were on and can so eloquently share the wisdom you've uncovered as you've ventured to the virtuous path you're on now.
Thank you so much Lyle, deeply appreciate it
❤️❤️🔥
A very timely post. I woke up today with the unquenchable desire to escape - maybe I should just go get a bottle of wine, maybe today is a good day for an edible - I’m in pain, I’m menstruating, I deserve it, etc. But I am 39 days free of alcohol and cannabis, and ultimately I will stay with the trouble for at least one more day after reading this. Maybe more. Thank you.
I'm so friggin glad to hear this, Anna, and major congrats on 39, by now 41 days! Onward we go
“Unquenchable desire to escape” is such a perfect description. Congratulations on 39+ days.
Alex, this was an absolutely beautiful piece. I read it twice and had a nice cathartic cry. Thank you for sharing your story and insights. I'm in awe of your journey.
Laura, it's notes like these that make the sharing all worthwhile. Thank you.
Alex, Xanderman, oloal, We’re privileged to rejoice in your recovery and to share our love. 🌈
<3
Major congrats! and a beautifully penetrating piece to celebrate. Lucky #7
7 is my fav number indeed, thank you so much Dia!
Congrats on 7!!! Incredible. I totally relate to your mixed emotions here. I get it. When ‘normies’ say it there’s always that slight lingering left in the back of your head--are they being condescending? I think usually no. Doesn’t really matter in the end. We’re sober!! I too quit the bottle in my late twenties. Yay us!
Michael Mohr
‘Sincere American Writing’
https://michaelmohr.substack.com/
Totally. It's not that they are condescending at all, it's that the wounded parts of my psyche projects it as such. At least, most of the time. Thanks so much, Michael, and cheers to your recovery
I feel most people are condescending in general (to me). Still, when referring to sobriety, for the unaddicted, I often get the pseudo-congrats. It’s supposed to sound empathetic and delightful but comes off as a confused sympathetic phrase with a chunk of doubt. Often the person doesn't even stop the task at hand to look at you when speaking. My mother won't even bring it up. She knows better. I don't like talking to ‘normies’ about sobriety. I'm sure you can relate.
I get that
Yeah, I get that too, Corey. I'll never forget how revealing it was when I first "came out of the closet" to some of my closest friends about no longer drinking/partying - their reactions often said a lot about them, and helped clarify who my real read-or-die friends were
Congrats, Alex. I just hit five years back in November. Our paths differ slightly, but our stories are the same. Thanks to sobriety, I have an incredible relationship with my ten-year-old daughter, who, at one point, I didn't see for a year, which only spun me deeper into the abyss, zipping around infinity’s loop with a broken flashlight and a pocketful of justifications.
What would you say has helped you the most, other than support?
That's a great question. If I had to pick one just one thing, I'd say physical movement paired with psycho-spiritual practice. I have a lotta energy that needs to flow somewhere, so exercise paired with yoga/meditation help me enormously. Congrats on your recovery man, really heartwarming to hear. It's wild how much better relationships can be
❤️❤️
Just reached 18 months in early February. Thank you for writing this. I relate to so much and it’s always good to feel solidarity instead of isolation.
I’m an artist (dance teacher) and I make an effort to shout out my sobriety during classes where it’s relevant. It’s astonishing to me how many people will come up to me afterwards and thank me for making them feel less alone, especially people in early recovery.
Congrats on 18 months, that's a huge milestone, so incredibly stoked for you. And that you are sharing your dance medicine... ecstatic dance was a big part of my recovery, that community and expression
Thanks! We love ecstatic dance in this household too.
Alex
Beautiful piece of writing ✍️. Your ability to weave the words of your story to our time in history is a gift. Keep writing.
Thank you so much, Barbara
Your recovery is remarkable. I applaud your strength and determination and all you are doing to help others. Never forget how incredible your journey has been. I am so proud of you!
Love, Debbie
Thank so much, Debbie, this note touched me deeply. So much love
Thank you for sharing the depth of your journey. I am a normie but I still appreciate learning. I have dealt with chronic illness for 14 years and it's perhaps like recovery. Nobody wants to hear about how hard things are for me. There hasn't been recovery thus far. I think we often benefit when we hang out with other people that have a sense of our pain. I hope you have a recovery community that is supportive and people that celebrate your huge wins. And again, I celebrate this writing as it helps me understand suffering beyond my own.
Karyn, holding this note close. It's for this reason that I don't personally think there's such a thing as a 'normie' - it sounds like you've had to traverse immense pain, a pain that's welcome here. Chronic illness is another test in itself, perhaps the biggest of them all. Thank you so much for this note, celebrating you as well.
Bravo, Alex. This essay is a king hit. 👏
Nicola, thank you, thank you!
Thank you for sharing about your life.
❤️