18 Comments

Thank you for this comprehensive offering on a topic that contains myriad multiverses within itself, and yet is nonetheless niche and incredibly current.

I definitely get the sense that the effort you have gone to in order to present this essay in its current form is going to be incredibly worthwhile to people who need this level of context in approaching the medicine. Let's get the SEO fairies to work on it. :-)

I have not experienced the medicine myself (not out of any resistance; it simply hasn't arrived on the path) but I have come into contact with plenty of people who have affirmed this precise narrative of transformation. The caveat here, as you have described, is the need for meaningful integration of the journey through continued practice, literally building one's life up from scratch around the shadows and insights from ceremony.

A corollary thought:

Once you find Deep Fix, you cannot un-find it; it's a seed that germinates in consciousness, expanding towards the light as it is grounded in the truth of genuine and relatable experience. Thanks for taking us all on this unique and precious journey with you! ꕥ

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The integration is so key, likely the most important part. And speaks even more so to the importance of having trained facilitators and guides, because to your point, sometimes we are rebuilding from a dissolved sense of self. Yes, let’s get those SEO fairies to work indeed, ha!

And this: “it’s a seed that germinates in consciousness expanding towards the light.” Wow. Just wow, Nicola.

Thank you for this illuminating comment. I so appreciate you.

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Well that was just the best article I’ve read on ayahuasca in maybe ever! As said above, most of everything I see is a trend piece, or a warning, or so, erm, ‘out there’ it’s just not useful to me. And thank you for talking about the appropriation aspect, it’s one of the reasons I’ve not tried the vine yet (I live quite far from any centre that sounds like a respectful provider, and I’m now even less interested in just snagging some from whoever). Really, thanks.

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Nina, I can't tell you how good it feels to receive this. This was a labor of love and fills me up that people are still finding their way to it, thank you

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Thanks Alex, Have been following Tim Ferris on this and looks promising on so many fronts. Article is perfectly pitched introduction. Very well written imho.

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Maurice, fantastic. One of my intentions would be for this piece to serve as an intro for recovering addicts and curious folks alike. Thank you so much. And outside of Ferriss, this website has good resources: https://chacruna.net/

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Beautiful, so well articulated. Inspiring me to go on another journey!

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thank you so much

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This was so revealing. Mostly when I read about Ayahuasca, it's in NYMag or it's some trend piece somewhere. I appreciate the unvarnished, firsthand account and the additional context about the plant and its rituals. Not to mention, the way you structured this piece was fantastic.

I've always been curious about Ayahuasca, but never felt compelled to make the journey. Would you happen to have any resources you know of for people who want to learn more but for whom their Ayahuasca journey might not be centered around addiction and the factors which contribute to it? As in, just an entry level way to start thinking about how ayahuasca could be beneficial?

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Jared, I cannot tell you how much it pleases me to hear this. One of the reasons I wanted to write this piece is because most magazine and mainstream articles about the subject are extremely one dimensional. I even had a paragraph explaining this, but it felt a bit lame (and off topic) to rail against “legacy media” coverage, so deleted it in the editing process. Also love hearing the structure worked, as spent a lot (too much!) of time thinking through that.

And for sure. Most people don’t come to aya for addiction. What I love about it is its a variety of folk: anxiety, complex grief, depression, eating disorders, veterans, spiritual seekers, curious folks, and, of course, tech CEO optimizing their productivity, and some strange New Age hippies. It’s beautiful in that sense. It’s also not too different than the diversity of the crowd you might find on a meditation retreat. It’s a similarly profound way to simply take stock, reflect, and grow.

As for resources, a good entry point would be Dennis McKenna on Tim Ferriss “The Depths of Ayahuasca.” For a deeper dive, “The Fellowship of the River” by Joe Tafur will truly blow your mind. Also, super down to chat offline with you sometime!

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Thanks Alex. Will look into "Fellowship of the River"

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Thank you for this. Much of what you said resonates deeply. I've been in recovery for some time & have been in dire need of a spiritual swift kick in the ass. Obviously, 12 step narrative can be misleading, despite Bill W's experience with LSD.

Ill continue to research & welcome suggestions on where you have found helpful & safe.

You've given me some inspiration & courage to perhaps take the road less traveled.

I look forward to reading your other articles, as you're quite eloquent. I also hope to be in touch.

Sincerely,

Jeanette

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I'm so glad to hear this Jeanette, thank you so much. Check this out (https://www.naturacareprograms.org/) as far as trusted options go. And wishing you so well on your recovery path, glad to be on this journey with you

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“Those who suffer from substance abuse disorder are particularly sensitive to these cultural features. They are humans who acutely feel the weight of their own troubles along with the burdens of a deranged collective.”

Yep. You nailed it. I’m 12 years sober. Hyper-sensitivity, deep fear, insecurity, anxiety, etc. This seems to increasingly describe most Americans in contemporary times, not just addicts, which is sad and interesting. I do see American culture now as sort of ‘alcoholic’: Hyper-partisan; tribal; binary-thinking; victim-obsessed; divisive; confused; angry. America is ‘in its addiction.’ I write about this stuff on my Stack.

Enjoyed your material. Just subscribed ❤️🔥🙏

Michael Mohr

‘Sincere American Writing’

https://michaelmohr.substack.com/

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Yessir, I've dug into a similar vein in one of my essays - when you zoom out, America itself appears to be a "high-functioning" addict. All the points you mentioned in terms of tribalism and then all the consumerist dependencies from plastics to seed oils. And thanks for sharing your writing, instant fan - just read one of your pieces about Oakland AA stag meetings... we have maybe overlapped at some of those :)

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Right on!! Glad we connected as well 😎🔥

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well thought out and written piece Alex. Thank you. I'm still on the fence. I've seen too much abuse. I write about it here. https://deerambeau.substack.com/p/microdosing

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July 23, 2022
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Thank you Merrie, so glad you found us

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