The tension between these 2 ways of being is pretty much always on my mind these days. I put up a post-it a few weeks ago naming it being willful vs having willingness.....to help me remember that I don't always have to stay in the comfort of being willing: willing to witness, hang back and validate and allow and hold space for another's…
The tension between these 2 ways of being is pretty much always on my mind these days. I put up a post-it a few weeks ago naming it being willful vs having willingness.....to help me remember that I don't always have to stay in the comfort of being willing: willing to witness, hang back and validate and allow and hold space for another's breakthrough ~ this way of being is firmly rooted in codependency for me; it allows me to be comfortable by not threatening another's person's comfort zone. Being willful is my growth edge: saying what I see w/out ego but with clarity, directness. It feels scary to possibly alienate a loved one but I've sacrificed myself to that story most of my life and I just can't honor that anymore. My experimental compass is to track how I feel on the inside as I'm listening/witnessing; am I accruing frustration or resentment, or am I in spacious listening? If the former then I'm being inauthentic and either I am being asked to either speak up or discern the judgment that is arising and take responsibility for the trigger....it can be confusing to tell which one it is for me bc I don't have this figured out at all but I'm learning and it feels really good to be a freer and more authentic version of myself. xo
track how I feel on the inside as I'm listening/witnessing; am I accruing frustration or resentment, or am I in spacious listening? If the former then I'm being inauthentic and either I am being asked to either speak up or discern the judgment that is arising and take responsibility for the trigger.
So so good. Thank you, Laura. This notion of accruing resentment will stick with me.
The tension between these 2 ways of being is pretty much always on my mind these days. I put up a post-it a few weeks ago naming it being willful vs having willingness.....to help me remember that I don't always have to stay in the comfort of being willing: willing to witness, hang back and validate and allow and hold space for another's breakthrough ~ this way of being is firmly rooted in codependency for me; it allows me to be comfortable by not threatening another's person's comfort zone. Being willful is my growth edge: saying what I see w/out ego but with clarity, directness. It feels scary to possibly alienate a loved one but I've sacrificed myself to that story most of my life and I just can't honor that anymore. My experimental compass is to track how I feel on the inside as I'm listening/witnessing; am I accruing frustration or resentment, or am I in spacious listening? If the former then I'm being inauthentic and either I am being asked to either speak up or discern the judgment that is arising and take responsibility for the trigger....it can be confusing to tell which one it is for me bc I don't have this figured out at all but I'm learning and it feels really good to be a freer and more authentic version of myself. xo
Whoa, THIS:
track how I feel on the inside as I'm listening/witnessing; am I accruing frustration or resentment, or am I in spacious listening? If the former then I'm being inauthentic and either I am being asked to either speak up or discern the judgment that is arising and take responsibility for the trigger.
So so good. Thank you, Laura. This notion of accruing resentment will stick with me.