Don’t choke on your matcha when I say this but do you practice or have you read up on Internal Family Systems? Asking bc the framework (I promise I read your whole essay, stay with me lol) asserts that we all have Self energy. It’s the part of us that knows how to heal WITHOUT decades of therapy, medication, etc. Once we are able to tune into this part of us life expands and things change drastically (at least that’s how it was for me). What blocks our Self energy are our protective parts and in my case my Intellectualizer armored up! She comes online to make sure I don’t sound like the piece of poor white trash I’ve always been terrified of being seen as. No matter, though, bc Self is like God and triggers that feeling you’re referencing. I don’t need to work on being grounded bc the ground is already in me. I practice tuning in on a daily basis and it’s been such a gift.
It’s that Toni Morrison quote “Your crown has already been paid for” or the opposite of original sin. We are born good; we are made of goodness.
Hope the early days of baby hood are treating you well. 🌈
The "wounded parts" in the essay is a subtle nod to IFS :) Although I completely agree with you, it's one of the best frameworks out there, maybe the best? I was trained in it, use it in my course, etc. I do find, however, that lotta folks miss the core Self-energy you're pointing to and instead get lost in a psychodrama acting out their parts, which is a very pop-psychology misunderstanding. Oh, and, I've literally had matcha lattes two days in a row for the first time in months... busted. Thank you just so much for this wonderful note, Emily. You wise.
Me again 😂😂 This might sound fucking crazy but maybe not considering the space we’re in? 🖤 When you sit with your parts and do the listening without words that Schwartz proselytizes, do the parts respond to you?
There comes a time when we must gather the courage to set aside our self-improvement projects and face reality as it is. Only then can we respond to what Life is asking of us. It's more crucial now than ever.
A lovely exploration, Alex. Brings me to the value of trust and spontaneity as the ultimate "goals" of any practice—that we need to let go of all the fixing and analyzing and doing (whether through action or cognition), and learn how to simply be as we are, in and part of the flow of life.
Oh wow, this essay resonated so deeply with me. I spent 20+ years worrying about how I could possibly live without getting high; searching madly for purpose and meaning while I continued to drink and fretted about putting down the bottle. Then, when I finally just stopped, it turned out it wasn’t that hard, and life so far is simply better. The simplicity is staggering. Your words encourage me not to mope and moan about the wasted time. Thank you. I’m not cackling yet, but I’m smiling. ❤️
Don’t choke on your matcha when I say this but do you practice or have you read up on Internal Family Systems? Asking bc the framework (I promise I read your whole essay, stay with me lol) asserts that we all have Self energy. It’s the part of us that knows how to heal WITHOUT decades of therapy, medication, etc. Once we are able to tune into this part of us life expands and things change drastically (at least that’s how it was for me). What blocks our Self energy are our protective parts and in my case my Intellectualizer armored up! She comes online to make sure I don’t sound like the piece of poor white trash I’ve always been terrified of being seen as. No matter, though, bc Self is like God and triggers that feeling you’re referencing. I don’t need to work on being grounded bc the ground is already in me. I practice tuning in on a daily basis and it’s been such a gift.
It’s that Toni Morrison quote “Your crown has already been paid for” or the opposite of original sin. We are born good; we are made of goodness.
Hope the early days of baby hood are treating you well. 🌈
The "wounded parts" in the essay is a subtle nod to IFS :) Although I completely agree with you, it's one of the best frameworks out there, maybe the best? I was trained in it, use it in my course, etc. I do find, however, that lotta folks miss the core Self-energy you're pointing to and instead get lost in a psychodrama acting out their parts, which is a very pop-psychology misunderstanding. Oh, and, I've literally had matcha lattes two days in a row for the first time in months... busted. Thank you just so much for this wonderful note, Emily. You wise.
I did not know! For when you’re reading newsletters again…. I wrote about my IFS process in intimate detail on my low key, low readership Substack. Would love to hear what you think. 😊 https://open.substack.com/pub/bendwithher/p/the-magic-of-unburdening-part-3?r=wt038&utm_medium=ios
Beautiful, thanks for sharing this
Thank you for reading!! Made my week. 🫶
Me again 😂😂 This might sound fucking crazy but maybe not considering the space we’re in? 🖤 When you sit with your parts and do the listening without words that Schwartz proselytizes, do the parts respond to you?
There comes a time when we must gather the courage to set aside our self-improvement projects and face reality as it is. Only then can we respond to what Life is asking of us. It's more crucial now than ever.
Beautifully put
Spot on.
A lovely exploration, Alex. Brings me to the value of trust and spontaneity as the ultimate "goals" of any practice—that we need to let go of all the fixing and analyzing and doing (whether through action or cognition), and learn how to simply be as we are, in and part of the flow of life.
Also, I've just been writing about this from a parallel angle—have a read if you're minded to:
https://open.substack.com/pub/thewisebody/p/how-does-healing-happen?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
I dig your frame of creating the conditions to follow organic somatic unfolding. And letting go and attuning to pleasure. Lovely, Vaishali.
Damn, this was good!
"elaborate cages" or rat nests? 🥴
I prefer your edit!
Fantastic piece, much appreciated. I particularly liked " an understanding that built on itself ".
Glad you appreciated that irony, Douglas, and thanks so much
Ongoing appreciation for you. Deep resonance. Keep going.
Much respect, Gibrán, thank you for the boost you just gave me.
Oh wow, this essay resonated so deeply with me. I spent 20+ years worrying about how I could possibly live without getting high; searching madly for purpose and meaning while I continued to drink and fretted about putting down the bottle. Then, when I finally just stopped, it turned out it wasn’t that hard, and life so far is simply better. The simplicity is staggering. Your words encourage me not to mope and moan about the wasted time. Thank you. I’m not cackling yet, but I’m smiling. ❤️
It simplifies so so much. Your note made me smile right back, Catherine, big grin over here. Glad to be traveling this wild road with you <3